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OWN YOUR STORY! Ego, Limiting Beliefs & Worthiness / Do the work and transform yourself

Aie aie aie, diving into the realm of ego is like entering a vast labyrinth – it's massive and can't be untangled all at once. But, I chose it anyway because I believe in that work and I think it's necessary on this transformative journey. Nevertheless, it would be far too presumptuous of me to position myself as an expert in the field, but I have done a fair amount of self-work and read many books on the subject, especially those by Dr. Nicole Lapera ('How to do the work') and Dr. Shefali Tsabari ('Radical Awakening'). In this Newsletter, I transcribe the main lines and key points to remember because the goal is not to do the work of psychologists but to share my experience to guide and inspire you to do your own.

So, shall we go?

Let's kick things off by defining ego and limiting belief in simple yet powerful way, so we can start building awareness around them. I would describe the ego as the "inner storyteller" or the "voice in your head." It's like the narrator of your life, shaping your thoughts and actions based on how you see yourself and how you think others see you. Therefore, the ego shapes how we perceive things. You can compare the ego to a pair of glasses through which we see the world. Whereas the limiting beliefs can be compared to "mental roadblocks" or "invisible barriers." These are thoughts that may be holding you back, convincing you that certain things are not possible or that you're not capable. Both ego and limiting often work together. For instance, the ego might tell a story that reinforces a limiting belief, creating a loop that keeps us stuck.

One recurring theme I've observed with many of my clients is a pervasive belief – the notion that they aren't deserving of dedicating time and effort to care for themselves. The inclination to prioritize career, family, children, social recognition, marriage, and everything else over their own well-being becomes a common thread. It's a pattern that repeats until their world seemingly crumbles. A void creeps in, leaving them mentally, emotionally, and physically depleted. Despite external success, a sense of emptiness pervades their lives.

In the pursuit of an outwardly beautiful and accomplished life, they inadvertently disconnect from their inner selves, losing touch with their essence. They've been navigating life from a place of fear and scarcity, where comparison, competition, business, and achievement are the norms. The realization, albeit subtle at first, begins to dawn on them – something vital was missed. Their ego took the lead, and limiting beliefs steered their choices.

Suddenly, they find themselves fatigued, drained, anxious, and feeling stuck. The once fulfilling elements of career, titles, and family no longer fill their cup. It's a moment of reckoning – a realization that the path chosen was not aligned with their true selves.

In this scenario, the 'ego' is like the storyteller in our mind, often steering our actions based on fear and comparison. It pushes us to prioritize external achievements over our own well-being, creating a life from a place of scarcity. On the other hand, 'limiting beliefs' are the thoughts that make us feel unworthy of self-care. They shape our choices and lead us to believe that everything else – career, family, kids, societal approval – is more important than taking care of ourselves.

The irony is that many believe dedicating time to self-care will detract from their ability to succeed in other areas of life. This couldn't be further from the truth. Just as a well-maintained machine operates more efficiently, a person who takes care of themselves is more equipped to handle the challenges life throws their way. They're more resilient, more focused, and, ultimately, more productive.

The key to start working on these patterns is to build awareness, which involves recognizing these ego-driven stories and challenging the limiting beliefs. It's like realizing there's a script playing in our minds that needs editing. Overcoming the physical, emotional, and mental strain comes from making conscious choices aligned with our true selves. It's about rewriting the narrative, prioritizing self-care, and understanding that true success starts from within.

How does it show up for you? Personally, mine barges in, all critical, convincing me I need to outshine the entire universe just to exist. Yeah.......Not the most comforting realization, let me tell you. At first, it was unsettling, seeing how I conditioned myself to dodge judgment, desperately craving love and approval. Turns out, it's not a guard, but a gatekeeper to the comfort zone, keeping us where we are (or think we are) safe and comfy. But where there is no discomfort, there is no growth....

Once you acknowledge it and recognise its pattern, it empowers you to cultivate a balanced sense of self. When the ego pulls a diva move (and believe me, it will, consistently), blocking your positive vibes or dragging you into unnecessary conflicts:

➡️ Breath Connection: Use your breath to hold space for yourself and to attune to the body, sensing the uncomfortable and unwelcome sensations.

➡️ Resilient Presence: Resist the instinct to flee the discomfort; show up for yourself, delving deeper with curiosity and kindness. You'd be surprise of what lays under.

➡️ Compassion Overdrive: Immerse yourself in love, kindness, and nurturing thoughts. Embrace the fear, pain, and emotional tumult with acceptance. You are not broken; there’s no shame or guilt. Allow yourself to be held in love and compassion. You don’t need fixing; you need to be seen, heard, and loved precisely as you are, in this moment

➡️ Reflection: What came up for you? What is possible right now (the opportunity to recalibrate your inner compass – the one pointing towards your true north)? Can you shift from fear, blame, guilt to trust, confidence, joy?

Remember, it's not about banishing the ego; it's about embracing it, a unique part of us being human.

As a BONUS here, here are 5 journaling prompts to go deeper into your EGO WORK (optional, but highly recommended 😊) (The framework is actually the same as in my EBOOK for limiting beliefs):

  1. Identify to build awareness:

  • Reflect on a recent moment when you noticed your ego showing up (negative self-talk, unkind inner voice, repetitive patterns). What triggered it, and how did it make you feel? Explore the underlying beliefs driving this inner dialogue. (Remember the ego shows up in every areas of your life).

  1. Challenge to question the truth :

  • Examine the situation and question its validity. Is it the truth? How might your ego be influencing your thoughts?

  1. Reframe to integrate a new language:

  • Take a closer look at the recurring negative belief that you hold about yourself. How does it impact your self-perception, and where might this belief originate? Practice reframing this belief in a more empowering and positive way.

  • Example: ' am not worthy of my time and effort, so why bother? -> Try: I am inherently deserving of my time and effort because my growth and well-being matter. Every moment I invest in myself is a valuable contribution to my journey. I choose to prioritize self-care, recognizing that by doing so, I cultivate a stronger, more fulfilled version of myself. My worthiness is not determined by external factors, but by the commitment I make to my own growth and happiness. I choose to honor and invest in myself, knowing that I am worthy of the time and effort it takes to thrive.'

  1. Practice to reinforce your new habit:

  • Pay attention to the language you use when talking about yourself and with yourself. Are there specific phrases that consistently undermine your confidence? Explore alternative, empowering language and observe how it shifts your mindset.

  • Example: I use to tell myself: 'Pff, you're so stupid! Look at the others, they all have figured it out, because they are smarter, stronger, more flexible. Because they were top of their classes. You were not, and you will not succeed'. I would use comparison and competition to sabotage or push myself. (Which is totally unhealthy ego pattern). Today, I would honour my journey, the setbacks and the breakthroughs, because they are all part of the journey and they all teach me valuable lessons. As my husband always says: 'You can't lose! You either grow or learn'.

  1. Self-Compassion to persist and build consistency:

  • Examine your inner dialogue. How did your ego contribute to self-criticism? Practice self-compassion by being present with your self (I love bringing my hands on my heart) and acknowledging yourself without judgment, be willing to welcome all part of you, so you can create a kind space to respectfully reflect and move on.

Remember, diving into the journey of self-discovery takes time, effort, and a whole lot of commitment. It's not always a picturesque adventure; in fact, it can get a bit messy. We each have our unique way of navigating this path, and there's no one-size-fits-all solution.

What made a world of difference for me was building a sturdy support system. Having people who held me accountable and cheered me on was invaluable. It's about feeling loved, heard, and seen throughout the ups and downs. Trust me, there were moments that weren't pretty. Yet, my family and closest friends never let me down. In their love, kindness, energy, and compassion, I found the strength to rise again.

I learned the art of holding space for myself – a safe haven where I could crumble and still gather the courage to move forward. And now, I'm here, holding that space for you. A space where you can feel safe, loved, heard, and seen. Where you can do the work, be supported, and find guidance.

Trust in your worthiness, trust in your power, trust in yourself. This journey is for you and no one else! The duration is not a measure because, once you commit, time becomes irrelevant. You'll find yourself on the journey of a lifetime, savoring every step as you discover how to live from a place of joy, abundance, and ease.

With Love & Care, Manale

How you can work with me Lovely:

  • Group Classes: Monday Power Flow to Energise (9:00-10:15am CET) / Thursday Slow Flow to Connect (9:00-10:15am CET) - both in studio and online upon registration (CHF 25).

  • 90 minutes Private Session upon booking both in studio and online (CHF 188).

  • Full Moon Gong Ceremonies (8:00 - 22:00pm CET) monthly on Full Moon date, only in studio (CHF 45).

  • New Moon Ceremonies (6:30 - 9:30pm CET) monthly on New Moon date, only in studio (CHF 55).

  • Private Women Circles: you gather your friends to share a moment of deep connection and togetherness. Ritual of Sound healing meditation & Ceremonial Cacao with Oracle Cards, sharing and journaling. Please contact me for more details:

  • Monthly Free Webinars: TBD, any inquiries:

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